Why remote workers still struggle for respect in the family — and how to change that

On this International Workers' Day, I would like to draw your attention to an important issue that is rarely discussed. Since the start of the pandemic, working from home has become popular, but there have always been remote workers who never had an office to go to and who have always worked from home.

This is convenient for many digital companies that get to find valuable talent worldwide. Companies get access to a huge pool of global talent, and digital workers get to choose the company they want to work for.

Being a remote worker and a bachelor is a blessing. However, you might not have a local office presence or colleagues to hang out with. This can be a good or bad thing. On the one hand, you are potentially away from a toxic work culture and the harassment of moving to a city for work with no real benefits and added costs.

As a family man, 100% remote work can be challenging in multiple ways. You have to literally beg for respect. Even if you pay the bills and buy nice gifts for your family, you won't be respected the same way as someone who works in an office.

That being said, you are expected to help out around the house just because you are working from home, while the guy who works outside gets to chat with his friends and enjoy his free time. Since you've worked remotely for a couple of years, you don't have local colleagues to spend time with. You give everything to your family. But, for some reason, this is overlooked, and respect is reserved for those who work in an office or shop.

I mean, if we were to revere gig workers, like our delivery workers, who deliver stuff to us in the scorching heat, even during the summer, regardless of the time, whether day or night. I am up for it. But if someone goes to an office in the morning and works there the same way you do, i.e., at a desk in an air-conditioned office, then what? I don't see the point of reverence.

This is not a rant. Let's try to understand the notion of family members. When I talked to people about the issue, I heard some interesting opinions.

Whether or not your family members think this way is up for debate.

Remote workers who only work from home are generally considered lazy or unwilling to give their all. If you don't give your all, it's expected that you won't get respect.

As a remote contract worker, you usually don't rent a separate office unless you have other employees. Co-working spaces can be expensive, and they may not exist in small towns or cities.

After talking to young entrepreneurs, I found that working from home (WFH) is not very well respected. Even if you want to give 100%, you can't because people at home won't respect it and will keep disturbing you.

I know it sounds weird, but it's a practical logic.

Remember what your parents said: "Don't just sit at home all the time. Do something! Go find work!"

This lack of respect for remote workers is also deeply rooted in our family culture. Usually, if a man is sitting at home all the time, he is considered unemployable. This is where your family members come from. They see you sitting at home all the time and think you're a good-for-nothing slacker. Regardless of whether you make money, if you're sitting at home, they think you're one of those guys who doesn't want to work, is lazy, and has no sense of duty.

For instance, if your spouse comes from a family where everyone goes to the family store at 10-11 AM daily, if she sees that you are not going to the store or office, she will lose respect for you as a man.

Even if you buy your spouse extremely good, carefully selected gifts, it won't matter. She will only respect someone who goes outside to work, as she has seen in her family.

Think of it like this: A great thinker needs only his brain for work, yet he cannot stay home with his family and must go elsewhere to think.

On the other hand, being away from home all the time can also be an issue. Consider the list of complaints from spouses whose partners are only away for work or duty. For example, consider soldiers, merchant navy workers, cruise ship workers, and truckers.

They are not at home for many days or weeks. Shouldn't they be treated with more respect? Ideally, yes!

As remote workers, we can only hope that things will improve over time. In the meantime, try to understand where your family members are coming from.

Things you can do to improve your situation

Even if you don't have the luxury of a bigger home, try setting clear boundaries, such as designating a workspace with an acoustic screen or divider.

This will help you establish a strict work routine for set hours, as well as visible cues, such as wearing headphones. If you are new to remote work, communicate your expectations. Tell them that this work is the same as office tasks or meetings, and that they cannot just interject whenever they want. You can dedicate a couple of minutes in between for that.

Happy International Labour Day, or May Day to all my remote workers!